saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
The Olympian is in my bed
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
