so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
