Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
