oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
