I only kidnapped one of them. chill
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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