She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
My vagina just recognized that song.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
