honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
