I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
