I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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