Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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