I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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