And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
