Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
