so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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