That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize