Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
