he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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