This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
