well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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