white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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