"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I need water and some morals
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