i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
he shaved USA in his pubs
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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