College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
