She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
