i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize