After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
