writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
