I need help removing her.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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