1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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