I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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