im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
