I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
