dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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