She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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