I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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