Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm bleeding and have questions
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
