not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
