when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
