And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
