kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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