Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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