apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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