That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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