please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize