Sry I called you an 8
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize