what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
