it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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