PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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