another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
