that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
