do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
