Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
it was like eating out sand paper
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
