you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
ttyl tear gas
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
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