Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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