Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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