She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Send help, water and tortillas.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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